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The One Secret to Having the most Juicy, Sucessful Relationships

The One Secret to Having the most Juicy, Sucessful Relationships

I have had the privilege of counseling couples and families for over 35 years. In that 35 years I have learned a lot from my clients, both in what works and what doesn’t work.  I have worked with people of all ages, from all over the world, and with many different points of view about relationship. Today I have chosen to share with you one secret to sharing and sustaining a joyful, fulfilled, juicy partnership with your beloved that really works.   This secret discovery  is the building block for intimacy, clear communication and deep love between a couple. It is actually the opposite of what most people request in their first counseling session with me.  My experience has been most couples want me to “fix” their partner so they can be happy.  This based on the paradigm most of us have been conditioned in, “you complete me” and “it is your job to fix me and my job to fix you”.   Relationship cannot sustain over time under this belief system, and that is why so many couples end up not being together. It is time for a new context for our relationships to thrive in. The new paradigm that I discovered in my own relationship, and from the couples I have worked with is: WE ARE EACH OUR OWN SOULMATES AND WE ARE EACH RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN LIVES AND HEALING. That is the only way we experience our own power, and choosing rather than reaction. It is the only “business” we can be in. So, if we start off our relationships from total ownership of our...
Bridging the Gap With Elders

Bridging the Gap With Elders

At this powerful time of change that some call the “tipping point” on earth, we are denying some historical, valuable lessons.  We are marginalizing our elders.   Too often, we deny  their  presence and hard-won gifts of wisdom and experience that our elders can bring, both to the individual and collective. Instead, we turn to leaders whose life experience has not been tested by the “fires of life”.  We turn to those that appear to have been seduced by short term goals and the promises of technology to determine our future.  We turn to authority for important decisions for our future, who have bought into the illusion of the mind and it’s knowledge, bypassing the wisdom of the Heart, Intuition and the Soul. For me, some the essential topics I am interested in bridging the gap between the generations are: 1) The role of intimacy in healing our lives and our relationships 2) The need for earth-based wisdom in navigating the challenges of our time 3) The value of being who you were born to be 4) The value of Divine connection and surrender 5) The need to claim our spiritual voices and heal the soul of the world 6) The path of eliminating our illusions about God 7) The difference between dying and walking on 8) The difference between believing and knowing 9) The value of finding peace with and celebrating aging I would like to address each of these topics in future blogs. For years and centuries now, indigenous tribes have honored and listened to their elders.  Is it time on earth when mankind is evolving, changing...
The “D” word

The “D” word

Our culture meets aging, dying and death with judgement, avoidance and denial.   Dying is viewed primarily as a medical and psychological event.  Death itself has become taboo word and is often replaced with “passed away, “transitioned,” “graduated” or left their body.  It’s as if , if we say the word death, we might bring it on!! Yet it is the one event that is inevitable, we just don’t know when.  This aversion, denial keeps us from living fully.  There is no conscious living without embracing conscious dying. I was fortunate to do a workshop with Reverend Bodhi Be, who runs  a non-profit business called Doorway Into Light providing honest conversation and services of products and practices for end-of-life and after life death care.   They have a resource center for honest conversation to educate, empower and support the dying, their families, the grieving, and all who may die one day. For me personally, I got to see how my living a life where the creator and creation are not separate, is the ground for exploration not run by fear and anxiety. Bodhi spoke of our disconnection from our ancestors. Unlike the Hawaiian and other indigenous people, we are cut off from those that made our lives and this moment possible.  We give lip service to “the ancestors”, but how many of really feel that connection.  In my studies of Hawaiian chanting, we were taught to feel all the ancestors who ever chanted that chant, lining up behind us to sing with us. Death is a very spiritual event and the time has come for the community to participate...